Thanks very much for coming everyone. Before I begin, I want to reassure you that I’m not criticizing, I just need to get all the facts on the table so that I know we are doing this efficiently and the Jabberwocky Expansion is running according to plan.

First point: the sweeping infrastructure work. Now, I don’t want this to sound harsh, but there is just no way we can sustain this sort of extra growth. I appreciate what the team has done, and I know that you are scheduled for completion over the summer, but we’re having to move what I like to call the “vitals” into some very tight units. This will affect their performance. I sat down with Hodgekiss last week and went over the plans; I’m now absolutely certain that further development will have a negative impact on balance and well-being, possibly also manoeuvrability. I want you all to have a think about what can be done regarding this.

Growth Strategy 2015

Growth Strategy 2015

Second point: I would like to say a big thank you to manufacturing. Having seen the plans I’m frankly amazed at what you have put together. I was sceptical at first, but I must say the project is coming along nicely. You had a tight schedule, and credit where it’s due, you’re sticking with it. Gracious – I know that I couldn’t be trusted to assemble anything as complex as that without you.

Third point: That was something positive, so I’ll have to follow with something negative. We are haemorrhaging resources right now. I know no one wants to hear it, but Purchasing reports uncontrollable spending across all departments. It’s nice to have all the equipment you need, and I wouldn’t want you to have to work without the necessary components, but soft furnishings are not one of them. Excessive quantities of clothing are not one of them. We need to get this under control, as a team, or I will have to consider drastic cost-cutting measures.

Purchasing Graph 2015

Purchasing Graph 2015

Forth point: I’m very impressed with the new look. Not something I would have chosen aesthetically, but it’s working well, we’re getting a lot of positive feedback from clients and it’s driving interaction. I may not want to approve the anticipated building space, but right now, what we have is obviously working. My gripe is that Hodgekiss tells me the plans cannot be halted, which is disappointing.

expansion forecast

Expansion Forecast 2015

Final point: The management team are simply not pulling their weight. Honestly, it’s like we’re being run by a bunch of toddlers. I know the changes are tough, but bursting into tears isn’t going to solve anything. There has been sleeping on the job, and if I catch one more client response that drifts off in confusion, or never even gets to the point, there will be serious repercussions. Honestly; look at what manufacturing have done recently.

This expansion is going ahead, so those of you who are not on board yet need to up your game and really try harder to be team players. Thanks for coming. I’ll take that chocolate now, please, Hodgekiss.

The Jabberwocky Expansion: Due July 2015.

Yes, it’s a baby.