This one goes out to all you survivors out there. I love the passion, I’m impressed we’ve all got this far and the last 55 days have really been an experience. So it’s time to move on and re-establish society, and in that spirit I thought we’d put together a bit of a guide for anyone trying street food survival since the zombie apocalypse.
Obviously all the usual self-preservation rules still apply: don’t loot more than you can carry, never be the last person out and double tap with an axe, in the head. Here are just a few more tips for the street food crowd!
Street Food Survival
Gazebos were a great idea before the Outbreak, but when a whole field full of the undead are coming your way you need to be out of there quickly. When parked up, remember to cover any conspicuous shiny surfaces so that reflected light doesn’t attract the nasties too much. Worst case scenario you can just shut the hatch, get out a book and wait till the Stench has passed. Just don’t be tempted to light the gas! lol.
Humanity as we know it may be over, but that’s no reason to put a downer on your customers! They’ve probably had a pretty rough day as well, so try and brighten it with a smile. You might want to consider not stealing all their stuff just because they’re not as well armed as you – that will certainly make their apocalypse! Remember that repeat custom only happens if they survive the night, and that’s super-tricky if someone has stolen your equipment.
Don’t Trust anyone
That being said, let’s not get carried away. You know they’re all competition in the game of life, and given half a chance they’ll pinch all your diesel and bop you with a chair leg – lol. Kidding, anyone with only a chair leg will be long gone by now! If you have to leave the van, make sure you’re well protected and don’t take any valuables with you. It’s also worth installing something over the hatch to keep out any over-eager customers, just make sure you leave gaps to pass the food out!
You’d be surprised how much food can be found in abandoned houses. Even those that look like they have been thoroughly ransacked might just have a cupboard full of tins. A word of caution: don’t get caught out by napping undead hiding behind the door! You will inevitably have to source from further afield as you use up what’s available nearby, but other people’s cupboards are a fab place to start if you’re just setting out.
Keep your Menu Innovative
It’s amazing what you can use as substitute food these days! Don’t be afraid to experiment with meat substitutes and things that look like cheese; trading standards are long gone, so give this meal an enticing name like “Apocalypse Special” and watch it fly out of the hatch as hungry folks fight for what’s left. Tins are your new best friend, so guard that can-opener like you life depends on it. Which of course it does rofl!
Finally: Have fun!
There’s no point in moping about the past. Dwelling on the good old days certainly won’t bring them back. Instead crank the music up and make the most out of what’s left of your existence: It’s the only one you’ve got!
Best of luck and hopefully we’ll see you on the road. This Friday we will be attending what’s left of Digbeth Dining Club, and would you believe it – it’s Halloween! lol. This is a great chance to see the van modifications first hand if you’re planning a similar conversion, and to rub shoulders with fellow street food survivors. If you’re one of our regulars from Before, we’d be chuffed to know you’re ok, and won’t even try and rob you!